Likeability sounds creepy
It sounds like a brainwashing method, manipulating others to think fondly of you.
But — let’s be honest, we all want to be liked, and in every situation, the most likeable people always win. It may be speaking with a Managing Director at J.P. Morgan, hoping deep down they’d recall your name, or the small chit-chats you have with your teacher, wishing they’d write you a recommendation letter, or even just exchanging introductions with a new friend, hoping they like you as much.
When people think about ways to become attractive and likeable, they think they have to radically change themselves.They think they have to appear, act, talk and think in certain ways. Maybe smile a little more, force a laugh here and there. Creating a second skin, hopefully tricking people into thinking you’re naturally outgoing and likable.
They go to parties they don’t like, drink what they’re not supposed to and talk to people they don’t want to interact with. All this, just to raise their social status, to climb above the ranks and to be perceived in a way that deserves a title.
Sure — I can see the merits in this belief. If you look around, the most likeable people are not the reserved and quiet ones, but are usually the outgoing ones who smile and laugh at every moment, who just seem to have so much fun, living such an exciting life.
Well, I’m here to suggest an alternative. Stop looking only within yourself.
But, be curious about others: listen to their stories and what makes them happy. Exchange thoughts and meaningful conversations about life.
Stop for a second, and you’ll realize that everyone has so much life within them, so much happiness, just waiting to be shared. Everyone comes from different walks of life, all with their own morals and values.
The point is — you just have to sit down, have a cup of tea and trade stories about each other and, more importantly, listen. To be likeable isn’t to be like everyone else, it’s to have an inherently interesting life along with being a good listener.
